


The swordsman

by reiwata



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-13
Packaged: 2018-06-01 14:47:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6524512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reiwata/pseuds/reiwata
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Odin volunteers to have an illusion spell tested on him to find out what sort of illusion it will produce, he is forced to face parts of his past he'd rather not. Fortunately, Prince Leo is there to help his retainer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> all aboard the angst train

“What’s that?” Odin was leaning on his lord’s shoulder, trying to see what the prince was holding. “Could it be some legendary tome, destined for only the hands of one chosen?”

“I’d hardly call it legendary.” Leo said, handing off the tome to Odin to keep his retainer from practically climbing all over him trying to get a look at said tome.

"’Illusion’...” Odin said, reading what was imprinted on the cover. “Yet what sort of illusions does such a tome produce?”

“That was what I have been attempting to discover.” Leo replied, taking the tome back from Odin. “It doesn’t seem to have an effect unless it is directed at a human, but I have--”

“Why don’t you try it out on me so we can find out then!” Odin interrupted, excitement filling his voice.

“I cannot allow that.” Leo replied without hesitation.

“Huh?” Odin’s grin fell upon hearing this. “Why not? You wanna find out what it does, right?”

“Yes, but it’s simply too dangerous. You’re too valuable to me.” Leo replied, as though it should have been obvious.

“But, it’s not like it can hurt me, right? It’s only supposed to create an illusion. Mere figures of shadow cannot bring harm to me!” Leo considered Odin’s logic, realizing the boy was right. “Besides, I trust you to make sure no harm comes upon me should something go wrong.”

That Odin put so much faith in him… Leo could hardly deny him now. Besides, he too was interested in learning what sort of illusion this tome would produce, and what use that might lend him in battle. “Fine.” Was all he replied with, and Odin’s face lit up with excitement.

 

Tome in hand, ready to cast the spell, Leo offered one last time, “Are you _certain_ you wish to do this Odin?” Odin nodded enthusiastically, so, with much hesitation, and keeping his eyes on his retainer, Leo cast the Illusion spell.

In mere seconds, Odin paled, the grin falling from his usually so cheerful face. Leo immediately dropped the tome and went to his retainer’s side, realizing that he’d been mistaken in agreeing to do this. Odin didn’t even seem to notice his lord at his side, eyes fixated on something the other couldn’t see, shaking his head and whispering, “No, no, no… I’m so sorry, please… Brady…” Tears fell down the blond’s cheeks, something Leo had never witnessed from the other before.

“Odin, it’s not real, it’s okay.” Leo attempted to reassure the other, but his words didn’t seem to reach him. “Odin!” He shouted, yet still no effect. Finally moving in between Odin and whatever he was looking at, Leo put his hands on Odin’s shoulders. “Odin listen to me.” Odin blinked, eyes shining with tears focusing instead on the man in front of him.

“M-milord?” Finally Odin acknowledged Leo’s presence, and the prince let out a sigh of relief.

“Odin, are you--” Leo’s voice wavered, his concern and guilt showing plainly on his face, but he couldn’t even finish speaking before his retainer ran off. “Odin!” Leo was conflicted. His instinct said to go after him, and he truly wanted to--to be there for his retainer, to make sure he was okay. Yet, the other had run away from him; was he mad at him? He wouldn’t blame Odin for being upset with him. If Odin really wanted to get away from him, Leo really thought that perhaps he shouldn’t go after him; he should give him his space, right? In the end, his concern and desire to go after Odin won over, though his hesitation cost him, as he now had no idea where the other had run off to.

When Leo finally located Odin, rather than hiding, in his room or elsewhere, he was surprised to find him on his own in an empty room generally used for training, swinging a sword. Leo watched from a distance for a moment, mesmerized. He had never known Odin had any talent with a sword, having only seen him before with tomes, yet the blond seemed to be rather experienced with a sword. In fact, Leo would guess that Odin was more comfortable with a sword than he was with magic. It reminded the prince that there was plenty he didn’t know about his retainer. _Like that Brady he mentioned…_ He thought.

Leo finally moved to enter, and within seconds of his crossing the threshold, that sword was pointed directly at him. Leo froze, surprised to see him react so quickly. Now that Odin wasn’t moving though, he could see how Odin’s whole body was trembling causing even the sword, so threateningly pointed at him, to shake. Upon realizing it was Leo, however, Odin, allowed the sword to fall out of his hand, clattering onto the floor as Odin turned away. Leo reached out to his retainer, “Odin, I…” He didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry…”

Odin’s head bolted up, turning around quickly upon hearing that. “Milord, I… I should be the one apologizing.”

Leo’s brows furrowed. “Whatever do you have to apologize for?”

“I’m not worthy of serving you. I’m weak and a coward and you ought to have better.”

“Whatever has you convinced of that, I assure you it’s not true.” Leo stated, almost unable to believe that this was the same Odin he’d worked with for so long, usually cheerful and confident. “By contrast, you are by far one of the most capable individuals I know.”

Odin shook his head. “No, it was my fault, I’m a coward,” Odin spoke, his voice cracking, tears threatening to spill once more. Though Leo didn’t understand at all what the other was talking about, it was clear he needed comfort, so he pulled the blond into his arms, and allowed him to cry. Eventually the two of them moved to Leo’s quarters, Leo bringing him there.

“Talk to me Odin. I want to help. What is this all about, what did you see that’s upset you like this?”

Odin sighed, wiping his eyes. “I… his name was Brady, and I loved him. He loved me too, but I never knew until…" He trailed off, then started again with a different approach. "It was back where I came from, and during a war. He was always at my side during battle. He was a healer though… I always told him he shouldn’t be going out so far into the battlefield, but he wouldn’t listen, saying he knew that having him by my side gave me strength, which was true. He said he trusted me to keep him safe, b-but I… I didn’t… I looked away for one second and when I looked back… it was too late. I took his staff and tried to heal him, but I didn’t know how… it was my fault, he trusted me to protect him, but I… I can’t let that happen again...” 

Odin looked a wreck, and Leo felt awful for him. He had never known Odin had such awful things in his past. What other things, Leo wondered, did Odin have hidden in his past? “You’ve grown so much stronger than that, possibly because of that, and I know you wouldn’t let me down, Odin. And I think you know it wasn’t really your fault. That’s the way war is, unfortunately. Do you really think he’d blame you? After everything the two of you had been through together?” Though Leo didn’t really know what that relationship had been like, he could infer that the two were close, and had been through a lot together from what Odin had told him.

“I…” Odin hesitated. “I don’t know… he told me before it wasn’t my fault but… then earlier…”

“Odin listen to me.” Leo said firmly. “That was an illusion, correct? It was probably made to be upsetting. It doesn’t mean that he would ever actually blame you, because he wouldn’t.”

“I… I guess you’re right.” Odin said quietly.

“I’m certain, if he could see you now, he would be proud of how far you’ve come.” Leo added. Having seen some of Odin’s growth himself, Leo knew there was much to be proud of. There was a short silence, before Leo decided to change the subject, feeling like it would help Odin to talk about something else. “Your skill with a sword is worthy of legends, I had no idea.”

“Y-you really think so? I worked my hardest to become the best, but I could never even compare to, say, my cousins. Becoming a mage seemed the obvious choice when I was given the option to change, as my mother was a sage, something like an onmyoji here, my father a war priest, which is, like, a healer who also uses an axe. Magic is in my blood, everyone said I had great potential as a mage, but I always preferred swords. I started to doubt that I should use a sword after a while though, so trying to be a mage seemed like a good change for me, since everyone said I should.”

“In my opinion, you would be much better suited using a sword. It seems to come much more naturally to you. I can tell you’ve worked hard to perfect your skill with a sword, and that’s when you’ve probably not touched one since you got here--am I right in assuming that?” Leo replied.

Odin’s eyes widened, as he valued Prince Leo’s opinions greatly. “Yeah, tonight was probably the first time I seriously used a sword since I arrived and that was…” He trailed off, trying to remember how long ago he had actually arrived in Nohr. “A while…”

“And still, if we were to spar with swords, I’m certain you’d best me,” Leo replied, “Would you consider picking up the sword once more?”

“So long as you have confidence in my ability to do it, I would do anything, milord.” Odin replied, a small smile and some of his former confidence returning to his face.

“I will always have the utmost confidence in you, Odin.” Leo answered, and the smile that brought out on Odin’s face was truly brilliant.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up being more focused on Odin/Owain's perspective, rather than Leo's.

It wasn’t long after Odin started fighting as a dark knight, choosing to use both tomes and a sword, that he returned to Leo with a request.

“Milord?”

Leo looked up from his studies. “What is it, Odin?”

“I’ve a request that none but you can be trusted with!” Odin declared boldly, tossing his cape for extra dramatic effect.

“I assumed as much, what do you need then?” Leo said with a sigh, wishing his retainer would just get to the point--his overly theatrical language could be a bit bothersome at times. He supposed he should be glad though, that Odin was back to his usual self.

“Well…” Odin dropped his act now, “I wanted you to cast that illusion spell on me again.”

Leo drew back in shock. “Are you mad? Why would you want me to do such a thing after what happened last time?”

“Not at all! I just… I need to face my demons! I can’t keep running from my past! I must face my fears and grow stronger from it!”

“I see, you think it will help you if you face the illusion again and defy it?” Leo said, inferring that was what Odin meant.

“Exactly!”

Leo still seemed uncertain as to whether or not he should do it. He didn’t want to see his retainer go through what he went through last time. But Odin’s begging look won him over once more. “Very well then, if you truly think it would help you.”

“I’m certain.” Odin truly seemed to believe so, so who was Leo to deny him it?

 

* * *

 

“You don’t have to do this, you know.” Leo reminded Odin before they began, hoping that his retainer would change his mind at the last minute.

 

“No, I need to do this.” Odin was determined.

 

Leo sighed. “Tell me when you’re ready.”

 

“I’m ready.”

 

When the illusion appeared, Odin let out a little gasp, his face going pale once more. Even expecting it, the sight of his long dead friend was hard for him to handle. Even more so when he was giving him such a hateful look.

 

_ "It’s yer fault, Owain. Ya said you’d protect me, why didn’t ya? Might as well’ve killed me yerself.” _

 

“That’s not true!” Odin’s voice wavered, but he continued. “And I know the real Brady would never say that.”

 

_ “Did ya even try an’ protect me? I shouldn’t be surprised though, you were always the least competent in yer family. I heard Chrom sayin’ even Inigo’s a better prince than you. Yer a disgrace to the Ylissean royal family.” _

 

Odin faltered there. “I-I…” This hadn’t happened last time. “No, I-I…” The words simply weren’t coming to him.

 

_ “Ya really think I could love someone like you? Yer dumber than I thought then. Pathetic. Worthless. You’re a murderer, you killed me, you--” _

 

“Odin!”

 

Leo appeared before Odin, and Odin let out a sigh of relief. “I-It’s not real, I know…” He took in a deep breath. “It wasn’t him saying that, and the things he said were just… the spell taking advantage of my insecurities.”

 

“That’s right.” Leo replied. “I don’t know what it said, but I can assure you, none of it was true.”’

 

“Thank you, milord.” Odin said quietly. “I apologize for burdening you with this.”

 

“Nonsense, Odin, you’re no burden to me. You’re my retainer, and good friend. It’s my fault for allowing this to happen in the first place.”

 

Odin cracked a little smile. “Milord, I think you’re too hard on yourself.”

 

“Perhaps so, but I know you’ve been just the same as of late.” Leo reminded his retainer. “Do you wish to talk about what happened this time?”

 

Odin sighed. “I don’t think I even could… I worry I’ve said too much already.” After everything lately, Odin really didn’t want to have to explain his past to his lord.

 

“Well, please go rest then, you’ve had a long day.” Leo said.

 

“Right… Thank you milord.”

 

* * *

 

When Odin returned to his quarters, he was pleased to find himself alone. It seemed like he so rarely got to be alone anymore. He generally didn’t mind, but it was nice to be on his own, to not have to worry about keeping up appearances. Here, he could be Owain, rather than Odin. And as he sunk into his bed, quickly falling into a deep sleep, he truly  felt more like Owain than Odin.

 

* * *

 

 

_ “Geez Owain--or should I call ya Odin now?” The blond haired priest smiled at him, that same old genuine smile that Owain loved. _

 

_ “Don’t tease!” the swordsman pouted. _

 

_ “Okay, okay!” They both knew he wouldn’t have continued anyway. Owain shifted close to Brady, and Brady wrapped his arms around him. Letting down his guard, Owain sunk into Brady’s embrace, feeling safe and at home. After a moment though, Brady spoke again. “So, uh…” he cleared his throat, sounding nervous. Owain was suddenly alert, just as nervous as Brady sounded. “Ya didn’ really b’lieve all that stuff earlier, right?” _

 

_ “Huh?” Owain was tense, and Brady started instinctually petting Owain’s head to calm him. _

 

_ “Ya know, that illusion or whatever it was. Ya know I wouldn’ say that kinda stuff, right? Cuz if ya don’t we’re gonna have to have a lil’ talk.” _

 

_ “How did you know about that?” Owain was shocked, the dream no longer feeling so dreamlike. _

 

_ “What ya think I haven’t been keepin’ an eye on ya?” Brady tilted his head, and Owain looked away. _

 

_ “Well…” _

 

_ “Just answer the question.” _

 

_ “I…” _

 

_ Brady looked so sad, and Owain felt guilty. “Don’t ya remember what I said to ya in those last moments? I told ya I’d always loved ya, and that I didn’ want ya to blame yerself. Cuz the world needs ya more than me. Cuz yer the strongest person I know. Ya remember that?” _

 

_ “I… of course I do! I couldn’t forget those moments even if I tried.” The fear, the guilt, the pain Owain had felt in that moment, they were seared onto his heart, along with all the memories of Brady that he held so dear to him. _

 

_ “So ya know I would never say anything otherwise.” Owain remained silent. “I promise.” _

 

_ “I’m sorry.” _

 

_ "’S okay.” Brady leaned over to kiss Owain’s forehead, causing the swordsman to go silent, his cheeks red. “Look at all the good yer doin’ here. The world really did need ya, more than one world it sees. If he hadn’t hit me, that lancer woulda hit you, ‘n can ya imagine what woulda happened if I’d been sent here instead of you? I think yer Prince Leo wouldn’t have taken to me as well as he did you.” _

 

_ Owain chuckled. “You really think so?” _

 

_ “I’m certain.” _

 

_ Owain snuggled back into Brady’s embrace. “Well,  _ I _ for one, am quite taken with you.” Brady chuckled and they both went silent, wanting only to enjoy each other’s presence. _

 

_ After a long time, Brady spoke up again. “You know I have to go soon…” _

 

_ “No…” Owain’s voice was desperate. “Please.” _

 

_ “Owain… this is a just a dream… yer gonna have to wake up soon.” _

 

_ “Don’t leave me again, Brady.” _

 

_ “I knew I shouldn’t have done this… I just couldn’t bear to see ya thinkin’ I’d say those things.” Brady shifted away from Owain, no longer holding the swordsman. “You gotta go back to that world. You gotta go be Odin, loyal retainer to the third prince of Nohr, that loveable overly theatrical guy.” _

 

_ “I don’t want to.” _

 

_ “Please, for me. Live your own life. Move on from me. Find a nice gal. Or guy. Maybe not that Niles. He creeps me out a lil. Just…” Brady sighed. “You deserve happiness. I can’t give ya that anymore. So please wake up.” _

 

“No!”

 

Odin bolted up in his bed, shouting out that one word then covering his mouth upon realizing he had shouted. The room was completely dark; it must have been the middle of the night. It meant that Niles, whom he shared a room with, was likely in there too, but he showed no sign of being disturbed by Odin’s outburst. Odin was relieved but did his best to stay quiet as he tossed and turned the rest of the night.

  
Niles seemed surprised to see Odin up before him in the morning, and shot him a suspicious look, but said nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> Just some notes regarding parents--I generally go with Libra!Owain and Chrom!Inigo in my fics. Also Vaike!Brady, but that won't be relevant in this one. But Chrom!Inigo is mentioned later, so I thought I'd mention that.


End file.
